small step #3

I’d like to think that this week just snuck up on me. What’s more to the truth is that I stood there like a deer in the headlights while it ran right in to me. Man, the resistance was strong last week. For starters, it was a cold and rainy week and I couldn’t find comfort in being in my dark studio. I tried building a fire and working next to it one day, my way of saying “I’m here. I’m showing up even when I don’t want to”. Then my son had an accident at school, so I sought out the comfort of the fire again- to sit by while hanging close to him sleeping on the sofa. Through all of this I kept listening to the voice reminding me of the dailies I had yet to get done (“see. I told you you weren’t going to be able to keep it going”) battling with the voice telling me to just take a day off to satisfy my need to just check out. I realized that I am too scared to just check out. I always have to have one foot on the gas pedal. I’m afraid that checking out will be the immediate end to all progress – to all of the goodness I’ve been making over the past few weeks. Then I listened to Erik Fisher’s interview with David Allen on Getting Things Done. David compared having structure in your life to a surfboard leash. It not only serves as a way to get right back on track, but it also gives you enough security to take chances- to ride bigger waves. Pretty cool, huh. So, instead of looking at all of those unmarked boxes on my dailies chart. I’m just focusing on today and getting back in there and riding the waves.

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